Banking Blah

I hate banks.

I have an account with a particular bank (which I've had for about 6 months now). I don't have any access to this account and I have never had access to this account. Interesting right? I don't have a bank card so I have no access to my own money. I don't have internet banking set up so again, I have no access to my own money. I don't even receive my bank statements. I have the BSB number and account number.

I was told (by banker boyfriend) to go online and register myself for internet banking so I finally have access to my own account. I try doing this and am prompted to enter my bank ID number.

??

I click on the help and apparently... my bank ID number can be found on the back of my bank card or credit card. My IMAGINARY bank cards since I have NONE.

So it tells me to call some toll free number to obtain my ID if I have trouble. Why do I now have to talk to someone????? It is so inconvenient.

This is bloody bullshit.