Bat-shit crazy

I am going bat-shit crazy.

I was reduced to tears in the car on the way to work this morning because I couldn't take it anymore.

Last night, I was in bed, listening to the soothing sounds of machine guns, exploding bombs and screaming men. My housemate's computer game-addiction is starting to unravel me. I tossed and turned and thought it was just not right that a person has to try so hard to block out the noise and go to bed. It was 10.40pm and the sounds were still coming from the living room. I thought it was ridiculous. I'd been trying to get to sleep for almost an hour.

This morning, Damien tells me I should have said something to Computer Game-Addicted Housemate last night. I agree, but explain that such situations make me extremely uncomfortable as I am a non-confrontational natured person. I resent being put into such uncomfortable situations. But I say that I will next time.

I know it is starting to get to me because I've started feeling cranky and irritated, and just the mere idea of hearing those sounds or even just remembering them in my head are enough to make my heart beat faster, my stress levels go higher and my anxiety increase.

I hear it when I wake up.
I hear it when I go to bed.
I hear it when I come home.

I don't hear it all the time, but I am surprised when I don't hear it. And I hear it enough for it to start affecting me this way.

Some of you might think I am overreacting. Maybe those of you who play computer games and understand the addictive nature. But I don't choose to not be able to go to sleep at night because the sounds are bothering me. I don't choose to feel anxiety everytime I come home and wonder if I'll hear those sounds. I don't choose to feel disappointment when I wake up and realise I'm waking up to the sound of guns and bombs, instead of chirping birds and children playing in the park. I feel like I'm in a tough spot, because I've heard the housemate horror stories and know full well that we really could do worse. But it's still driving me mad.

It's getting out of control. Out of control enough to reduce me to tears just talking about it in the car on the way to work.