Mixed feelings for the new year

I feel like the year has just begun, but we are towards the later end of January already. I spent the first part of January away from the office, enjoying the Christmas/New Year break. The second week of January I spent finishing up some RA work and the third week of January, I was in Canberra on the research methods course. Now in the second-last week of January, I'm looking at the year ahead with a mixture of excitement and dread.

I feel like this year is going to be a good year. This mostly comes from a gut feeling that things are going to get done. Traditionally, we equate completion with achievement. The only downside to that is that there is going to be a whole lot of work to do, and I'm always one to crumble (at least mentally) over the thought of impending pressure.

At the same time, I also have a gut feeling that this year is probably going to be the last of a finite set of cruisey years that I've been allocated. One person is only allowed so much good fortune. I have a feeling that the following year (2010) is going to be a tumultuous one and I cringe, thinking about it because I'm probably right. I'm always right about these things.

2010 is the year I can realistically expect to finish the PhD. Complete and submit and sit pretty, waiting for examiners to get back at me. During this period, I can enjoy a state of limbo between my student visa running out and getting residency. Of course, I cannot be granted residency until the thesis has been passed. I will probably be granted a bridging visa, but at a cost that will hurt my price-sensitive wallet because the completion of my thesis will also signal the end of my scholarship. Rats. So without income, without a visa, I can also look forward to the fact that I may or may not have a job. Of course, it is likely that I will not be offered one unless I am a resident. Sigh.

So while I'm dreading the fact that 2009 is likely to end up being a year of hard work and labour, a fact that is filling me with dread, I am also reluctant to let go of it because I have a gut feeling that 2010 is going to be worse. There are going to be a number of significant events in that year that I have no control over and I would be hesitant to see 2009 pass me by.

It's almost February now. Crap.