Is there anybody out there?

I wonder if anyone reads this space because I sometimes wonder if I should bother. Are you reading this space?

Twenty-seven

I didn't do my usual yearly birthday reflection where I list all the significant things that has happened in the last 12 months. If I think about 27, I will say that it was a great year and a great age. There were a lot of achievements and challenges, but there was one thing that stood out the most:

At 27, I became re-acquainted with my independence (read: broke up with Damien).



Of all the highs and lows, this is the thing that stands out the most. It happened just before Easter, which means just before all the bloody long weekends in Australia and before winter came around again. So I struggled through all the long weekends and cold winter nights alone and miserable. In response, I hung out with my friends on the weekends and bought a hot water bottle to snuggle with at night. One has to cope somehow.

It was a real struggle at first, but I always had the belief that it was in a way, a blessing in disguise. Firstly, I'm in the final year of my PhD so this means that I now have a lot more time to dedicate to working on my thesis.

Secondly, I used to stress about what I would do about jobs once I finish. I feel that getting out of Brisbane will only enhance my professional and personal growth, but although I was keen to do this I always had to consider whether he would want to do that too. Now, I feel the freedom of having more options because the only consideration I would have is me. There's something very liberating about that.

Finally, I really did become re-acquainted with my independence. Up until the end of Honours, I'd been supported by my parents and when I started my PhD, Damien was around to contribute to both personal as well as financial support. Now, truly on my own, I had to learn to support myself on my meager scholarship (which is less than the usual scholarship as I'm not a resident - the biggest chip on my shoulder!). I had to move out of my beloved apartment on Sydney Street. In the end, I found an apartment still in New Farm, along the river (awesome) but with a housemate (eew... living with strangers). Still, I think I do quite well for a "poor" PhD student. So the financial independence was a change forced upon me, but one which I think is timely in reminding myself that I can do this, I can look after myself, I can stick it out on my own if I have to.

I do think that it is very much my nature to be with someone. I find life to be more fulfilling and satisfying when one has a partner to share it with. But at least this experience can only teach me that if the shit hits the fan, I'll be okay.

Twenty-eight!

The first birthday where I actually cringe about how old I've become!

Novel concepts

Had an interesting conversation over dinner one night about goals. I don't usually set goals for myself to achieve in any given year, I just... do it. Upon reflection, my years always tend to be fairly fruitful anyway but what the hell.

In 2010, I would like:

(1) to finish my PhD
(2) and get a job

What novel concepts

Anything less than awesome

I'm not a big fan of resolutions because people often do not sustain them and there is a huge disconnect between individuals' intentions and behaviours. However, I may be presumptuous in saying this but I think my days in Australia may be numbered, which has motivated me to resolve that in 2010 I will do interesting things every month.

I haven't got very far, but there are already a few things I am interested in or would consider doing if I had the company. I welcome any takers and anyone keen to try something new. Here is the list so far:

January
17th: I will be heading to the National Gallery of Australia to visit the special exhibition from Le Musée D'Orsay while in Canberra.
Am so glad there is something worthwhile to do while I'm there.

22nd: I would love to see the Australian cricket team play
Pakistan at the Gabba. I can't live in Australia for nearly 6 years and never see them play Pakistan. Pakistan!!! I need to expand my horizons to watch Australia play opponents other than New Zealand.

February
14th: I would very much love to spend this day at the Gabba again,
this time seeing the West Indies.

19th: Queensland Reds versus THE CRUSADERS!!!
They skipped Brisbane last year but I saw them at Suncorp the year before. I'm giddy with excitement just thinking about it...

March
26th: Lady Gaga concert, which will be quite cool.
I'm happy to go to this because I think she'll be good to watch live.

That's all I've got so far, but I think that's pretty good especially considering I'll be in my last 6 months of my candidature. I'd like to spend my last few months in Australia on a high (if they really do turn out to be my last few months) because it's a shame to waste time on anything less than awesome!

mantra of the day

life is too short to live down in the dumps

They say

I've alluded to the fact that there has been a bit of change I've had to undergo in recent months. The first is the end of the teaching semester, which always leaves me feeling with a slight sense of loss as to what I'm supposed to do with myself now that I am able to reclaim all this time that would otherwise be spent teaching. Obviously, I'm meant to work on the thesis but the strange feeling of loss always manifests, especially at the end of Semester 2 which coincides with the end of the year. Always a period I associate with a sense of winding down.

The second is that the PhD is at the point where the end is near and there's lots that need to be done. I cringe everytime I think of how much work I need to do and then I avoid it by procrastinating. I still wonder how I ended up doing a PhD thesis and I also wonder how someone like me can end up with such qualifications. It boggles my mind.

This inadvertently makes me think of what my life is going to be like after the thesis is completed (which will be in the middle of next year). I wonder if I will still be in Brisbane or if I will be interstate, or even overseas. I wonder about so many things that in the end, I have to tell myself to stop because none of this thinking is useful or helpful. The uncertainty of where I will be and what I will be doing in 12 months is slightly unsettling.

And now it is official that I will be moving. From my fabulous Sydney Street apartment to an even more fabulous Griffith Street apartment. I acknowledge that I'm quite lucky because I've had the good fortune to live in such a nice home in such a nice area for the last few years, and continue being able to do this for at least the next few months. But it's not so much the actual move, but more so the symbolism behind having to let go of the Sydney Street place. It represents the life that I've had and enjoyed for the last few years, but which is a life that is over and I now have to let go. Not by my own choice, but I'm just trying to make the best of the situation. You have to let go and move on, right?

So long Sydney Street

I'm looking for a new place to live! One bedroom for myself is ideal, but have been entertaining studios and share places. Lots of stress and emotional labour involved. I was so hung up over the pain of moving that I'd completely forgotten about the pain of actually finding a place.

Wish me luck!

Ramadhan Karim

one of the pictures from the website

I got this website from someone I know on Facebook, which has these beautiful pictures of Muslims around the world observing Ramadhan. During Ramadhan, we abstain from eating, drinking, smoking and sexual activity from dusk to dawn. This abstinence teaches us patience, sacrifice, humility, self-restraint, and to be thankful for what we have. I think it's a great idea because these are wonderful values to have in life and often it's so easy to forget.

This is my favourite: a man taking a nap in a mosque in Kabul, Afghanistan

We have to remember to be grateful for what we have!

During this holiest month of the Muslim calendar, Muslims are encouraged to read the Quran, pray for guidance, and perform good deeds. I have to say that I'm not a strict follower of religion, but I appreciate the values that religion instills in people.

My typical day involves getting up at 4am for a feed, and then going back to bed at about 4.30am. I usually prepare my food from the night before because I'm too cold and too groggy to actually whip up a feast :p So into the microwave, my food goes!

Ideally, I would wake up again at 6am and go for a run, but I've been lazy the last few days. Haha... so instead, I get up again at 7am and get ready and go to work. I really must try to fit in a run in the mornings because I don't go to the gym in the evening as usual because it clashes with with iftar, which is the evening meal when breaking the fast. The fasting has left me a little sluggish and my energy levels are really low, so perhaps a morning run might help. I wouldn't think to do an afternoon run because I'm usually ready to drop right around 4pm... Hahaha... I'm soft.

So far (and it's only been 6 days, 4 for me) I've been having my iftar at home by myself. It's meant to be done as a community or as a group, but I just do this by myself because firstly, I don't have many Muslim friends here in Brisbane. Secondly, few of my friends would want to have dinner at 5.30pm (too early!), and finally, I am quite socially-lazy anyway! I was all sad and depressed about this last year, but I haven't gone all moody yet this year, which is good :p I think I was mostly just looking forward to Ramadhan as I saw it as an opportunity for self-reflection, and seeking guidance for the future.

This year, I am less fussed and less depressed (haha). I think I may be more zen. But I am also alarmingly more weak this year. I'm low on energy, I feel sluggish, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate when I'm trying to work on my thesis! Well, another 3 hours to go from here. Might grab a bubble tea on the way home. Fasting always teaches me newfound appreciation for bubble tea!

Melbourne Memories

I was in Melbourne last week for conference and had the chance to enjoy the city for a day on either side of my working days. I arrived on Monday morning and checked into the Novotel on Collins, which was a really nice hotel in a great location. I didn't realise that Collins St is kind of like the boutique street because I went for a walk and found all the designer boutiques along the sidewalk. It was heavenly. I came across Gucci, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Escada, and by the time I hit Prada, I'd decided I needed to go inside. At least I can say that I went into one of the stores! I probably should have taken more pictures, but I get so lazy to do the tourist thing and I am probably going to be back in Melbourne in December anyway so I let that slide.

I had lunch at Grossi Florentino's which was lovely but terribly expensive. As expected of a fine dining restaurant, the service was excellent but the portion sizes were puny. Surprisingly, when I ordered the tiramisu, this ginormous thing that looked like part of a mini igloo appeared on my table. It was the biggest slice of tiramisu I had ever seen. It was ridiculous! I struggled to finish it and gave up in the end from being too full and feeling guilty for all the cream I was consuming.

I didn't do much else on Monday except walk around the shops and do a spot of shopping. I understand now why their tourism campaign uses the "lose yourself" tagline because I pretty much spent my time exploring the laneways, which was fun but I probably would not have been able to find my way back. I checked out Haigh's Chocolates, which was right next door to the hotel, so I was actually able to find my way back. I spent forever browsing in store and I spent a lot of money in there during my stay but didn't actually buy any chocolate for myself as I was paralysed by choice.


I had dinner at Laksa Me, which is supposed to be a Malaysian laksa place. I didn't realise it was curry laksa and not the "normal" laksa I'm used to in Brisbane and back in Singapore, but it was worth a try nonetheless.

The next day, Tuesday, was the first day of the conference followed by the conference dinner at Bluestone Bar and Restaurant. We went to the lounge first for a pre-dinner drinks reception and then upstairs to the restaurant. It was quite beautiful and I appreciated the decor. The service was very good and the food didn't disappoint.


Wednesday was the second and last day of the conference, after which we caught up with Sandy in Lygon Street for dinner. We went to a restaurant called Ti Amo, which is Italian and again I thought the food was pretty good. Although it was State of Origin night, we were a bit tired after dinner so I caught the game in bed in the hotel.

Thursday was my last day in Melbourne and my flight didn't depart until 8pm that night, so I had a full day to walk around and explore. I wanted to catch the Salvador Dali Liquid Desire exhibition so I walked over the Yarra to find the Gallery.


I'm really glad I went because I enjoyed the exhibition more than I've enjoyed any other. I never knew much about Dali's work before but his paintings and his work was so beautiful and so emotive. I felt quite emotional looking at some of his art (and then felt like such an idiot) but it was just beautiful. He manages to express so much into his paintings. I enjoyed that a lot of his work reflected the different stages of his life as well as the times that he lived in. I liked how his art went through different phases, like how his early work reflected much of his home and his family, and then his later works reflected his thoughts about the war, and so on.

After the gallery, I decided to check out Southbank. Or is it Southgate? Or are they two places adjacent to one another? I went to the Eureka Skydeck and was treated to some spectacular views of Melbourne.

I was quite impressed and I can understand now why so many people have such a strong preference for Melbourne. It's pretty spectacular and it has beautiful architecture with some beautiful Victorian-style buildings. I got the sense that it was a very cultured city and people everywhere were so beautifully-dressed.

After the Eureka Skydeck, I decided to find the Crown Casino. I remember having lunch in the food court the last time I was in Melbourne 5 years ago. Along the way, I managed to get some beautiful photos.

I found the Crown Casino and the food court fairly easily and discovered that the Asian stall had yong tau foo. Mm.... I miss yong tau foo... After lunch, I caught the free tourist shuttle for one last look around. I skipped the Melbourne Museum as I was too tired and too lazy to check out the Pompeii exhibition. A small part of me still thinks that I should have, but I would have been wrecked if I had. Overall, I quite enjoyed Melbourne, although I'm still trying to shake off this chocolate addiction I've acquired ever since stepping foot into Haigh's!

Social retardation

Damien's at home having dinner with his family. Joel's probably at training. And the rest are probably at Bernard's having dinner.

I am sitting at home alone...

Sigh............... I am so socially awkward.

I don't know why I have always been like this. I just don't know how to relate to people and I don't know how to make friends. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always felt like I never belonged. I remember in primary school, I struggled to find a "group" of friends. People tended to group according to race and maybe this seemed like a natural thing to do since you were probably "better understood" by others of the same background. This never did me any favours.

The Indian girls would group together and while I had many good Indian friends, I felt like I could not be "part of the group" because I wasn't Indian. The Malay girls did the same but I never cliqued with them because I was English-speaking and most of them were from Malay-speaking households. I was different and they couldn't relate to me. I couldn't clique with the Chinese girls either even though the ones in my class were English-speaking, because I wasn't Chinese. Ever since, this has left me feeling like there is nothing about me for social groups to accept.

Now into adulthood, I struggle with group dynamics. Why am I so socially retarded?

Shop 'til you drop

I didn't think I would be so efficient, but I bought my boots over the weekend! I was out and about on Sunday and stopped into Nine West to have a look at their sale offerings when I found a pair of suede ankle boots:

They were fine, but while the girl was getting a size for me, I chanced upon this other pair:

I tried them both on and settled on the leather pair. It cost more than the suede, but I tend to have a preference for leather and at least I won't freak out over ruining them if it rains (I have waterproofer spray but I'll still freak out). I figured the suede pair was a bit too fashion for me and I just do not do fashion well. Lindsay gave her nod of approval for the leather pair, so that was it.

I bought a few other "big-ticket" items this weekend including a suit from Cue which was half off. I needed a suit and have always wanted one from Cue and ended up getting a pin-stripe skirt suit. Although my preference was for a three-piece suit, I decided to forgo the pants because the matching one they had was a high-waisted style, which was horrible and so fashion and of course, I can't do fashion. Lindsay made a comment about how I "probably shouldn't wear pants" which made me want to laugh because I tend to agree. I look so ugly in pants...

I also got a bag from Lululemon at their opening party on Friday, which is great. I've been carrying around what feels like a ton of stuff and my current bag is much too small, especially when I bring a lunchbox to work and some fruit. Everything sticks out and it looks so ugly. The worst is when I go for French classes because I've got to squeeze in my books and pencil case as well. The new bag is great. So spacious and so many compartments!

I managed to pop into Kookai as well during the week when they had a 1-day VIP sale and loaded up on basic tops for winter. I also scored a Morgan & Finch hot water bottle at half price, so now I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night because I'm so cold!

Kinky boots

It was freezing cold when I left the house this morning. I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, pants, and my winter coat. I felt like I needed a scarf but would probably have looked like a wuss. My feet were the coldest, but I was wearing covered shoes. I came to the sad realisation that covered shoes were not going to cut it in winter and that I needed something that covered my feet completely. Something like ankle boots.

Ankle boots have been in season for a while now. Apparently it was the fashion this year, especially wearing ankle boots with skirts or dresses. I always thought the look was hideous and I've never been one to follow fashion either. Ankle boots are just difficult to pull off when wearing a skirt or a dress. If you've got the right legs, it's not so bad, but even then I still think it looks quite ugly.

Perhaps time to bite the bullet and succumb. I mean, why wear knee-high boots if I'm wearing pants??? Since my decision is based on functional reasons and not fashion, I won't feel so bad about getting damn ankle boots.

J'aime beaucoup francais

French was rough this morning. It's usually rough, getting up early on Saturdays anyway, but it's worse when you're a fool who goes out on Friday and drinks too many cocktails. I don't usually have big Friday nights (because I'm boring and irrelevant) but we had our final lecture for consumer behaviour yesterday and had organised for the lecture to be held in the Valley. The content was on age cohorts, so the lecture was to be held at a Gen Y marketing firm with a guest speaker. Myself and another tutor were charged with leading the students to Adelaide Street to catch a bus there from campus. Unfortunately, the moment we left the university, it poured and while some had umbrellas, others like myself were a little unlucky.

We eventually arrived there (albeit wet) and drinks at Bar Soma were organised for after the lecture. Our unit co-ordinator had kindly organised a bar tab for us tutors to share, woo hoo! Unfortunately (or fortunately) the other two tutors left fairly early after having a drink each, leaving poor me to finish up the bar tab all by myself. And that is how I ended up drinking three cocktails and staying until 11pm.

Hence, French this morning was rough, but still enjoyable. I always have such a good time at French class on Saturday mornings. We're five weeks into a ten-week course and they are already sending us information about next semester's classes. I'm considering continuing with the course, but am not sure if I can part with another lump sum of money. It's actually not that expensive if the cost is based on the hourly rate, but the poor PhD student has to think about these things.

I'm leaning towards continuation because I really enjoy challenging myself and making my brain work in a different way. It's incredibly refreshing to be doing something completely different to what I've been doing for the last 3.5 years. They are also starting the classes 30 minutes later next semester so that's a bonus! I still get my sleep-in on Sundays, which is nice and I think I've found a nice routine that really works for me.

Anyway, I still have a few weeks to decide. But I suspect that I already know what my decision is going to be!

Almost Famous

I'm not much of a music listener - I don't have an mp3 player, I don't drive (and thus don't listen to the radio), and I don't play music at home. But I do love Chris Cornell. I used to be, and still am, a big Audioslave fan. I remember years ago when they released their first album with Cochise, Like a Stone, and my favourite, I Am The Highway, Nicky bought me a copy for my birthday which was an awsome present. I also remember more recently, going to see Casino Royale. The most exciting part of the movie for me was the beginning when they were playing the soundtrack and immediately, I recognised the voice of Chris Cornell. I was excited like you wouldn't believe that Chris Cornell had written the soundtrack. Haha.

So today, I'm listening to Chris Cornell's music on my computer at work. My other weakness - rock stars! Haha...

Wardrobe basics

I'm revamping my wardrobe. I've decided that it's time for a spring clean and start afresh. I'm missing a lot of staples because frankly, I've been a bit of a dodo bird when it comes to fashion. Yesterday, I bought a dress from Marcs which was on sale. It's a black shirt dress, cinched at the waist with ribbon to tie it up at the front, and pockets on the front of the flared skirt. I'm always a sucker for pockets on a skirt. I decided to get it because it was classic, it was Marcs, and it was on sale. The fact that I didn't already have a classic, black dress was the decider. I'll put up a photo when I get a chance to wear it out and take a photo.

With winter coming soon, I decided it was a good a time as any to redo my wardrobe as I'm missing a lot of staples like jeans (I know, I actually really hate jeans), long-sleeved tops, and sweaters. Some of the stuff I've recently bought:

• A grey knit dress from Country Road (purchased on the credit card as a gift from dad)
• A black three-quarter sleeved knit cardigan from Country Road
• A basic black T-shirt from Kookai
• A white, flared skirt with blue dots from Myer
• A pair of matt flats from Scooter
• A pair of shiny flats from Scooter (which might die before winter because I wear them so much)

I've tried to follow Tim Gunn as a guide to figure out the wardrobe staples (because I'm too inept to figure this out on my own):

• Basic black dress - which I now have after the Marcs purchase

• Trench coat - I have from Mango and it's lime green. It's old and I would love a new one, but waiting for the day that I can afford a Burberry trench

• Dress pants - I have pants, but I wouldn't say they're nice ones. I don't love them, I only wear them because they're the only ones I've got. I've got a grey pair from Forever New and a black pair from Bangkok

• Classic shirt - one black and one white from Dorothy Perkins. I love Dorothy Perkins for their shirts. I also have a white one with small brown dots from Cue. It's so cute

• Jeans - I do not have jeans. I hate jeans because I always find them so uncomfortable but I will probably have to get a pair to survive winter

• Any occasion top - have a few of those

• Skirt - I have 2 work skirts, one from Bysi and the other I bought in Honolulu. Both black, both fitted. I have a black pleated skirt from Portmans which is a nightmare to iron

• Day dress - I'm not sure what this means, but I am going to guess it's a dress that's not for work, but not too casual like a maxi dress. Hmmm....

• Jacket - I have a suit jacket which I had tailored in Bangkok and I really dislike it. I don't know what it is, but I just think it doesn't fit nicely. I have another suit jacket I bought with the skirt from Waikiki, but the cut is not great. I've got one cordurouy jacket and one white satin jacket but I don't know how I feel about those

• Sweatsuit alternative - apparently this is meant to be something casual and comfortable, but not sloppy. Like khakis or a cotton dress.

And then there is the winter basics to think about, but another post for another time. Onward with the shopping!

Cursed day

This morning I had to present some results of my study to Queensland Health. On my way to the bus stop at New Farm, I saw the crazy old Italian man in the distance and so I went along a different route to the bus stop. I missed the bus by about 30 seconds.

I walked to another bus stop to catch a different bus, which thankfully was only 3 minutes after the missed bus. When I reached my stop, I got off in time to see the Free Loop driving away. Curse that old man! I would have made it if I had been one minute earlier.

I waited for the next Free Loop, which according to Brisbane Transport, runs every 10 minutes. I waited 20 minutes for the next one. I didn't feel like I was in a position to complain since the service is free, but curse the Free Loop service!!!

I arrived at the office to print my slides and checked the agenda for the meeting again. It says it's at Herston. I was under the illusion that it was in the City. Damn my lack of attention to detail!!!!

I rang a taxi as I rushed to the lift. I waited 10 minutes outside QUT but my taxi was nowhere in sight. I watched in despair as many other empty taxis drove past. Close to hysterics, I ring Damien. Nothing he could have done from there, but I needed to ring somebody. I was having a meltdown. I spot a cab that had stopped, got in, and the driver goes "You Vesna?" I said "No, Nadia" He then says "I have a booking for Vesna" and I replied angrily "Yeah, I have a booking too!" and stormed out of the taxi. I'm still on the phone, frustrated and upset. I spot another taxi which takes me and $15 later, I'm in Herston.

Back at the office, I decide that I'm still hungry after lunch. I need some food and am feeling a little dizzy. I go to the vending machine on Level 3 but it's not working. So I go to the vending machine on Level 6. I put in $5 and press the button for $2.30 potato chips. I get $2.20 change. Right. The machine moves, the chips fall down, and they are stuck. The packet is at the bottom of the vending machine, but not where I can actually get to them. Damn QUT vending machines!!!!!

I feel like maybe I'm cursed today and contemplate going home because all I want to do is just cry.

I had a moment

The air at night and in the early morning has started to cool. The other night, I stirred because I was feeling quite cold so I moved closer to the middle of the bed until... warmth.

I think one of my favourite simple pleasures in life and probably the only thing I enjoy about winter, is having your loved one in bed with you to keep you warm.

Stand by me

I was watching the morning show today while having breakfast and there was a mention of what I think is a book. It was about how women should give up their careers and instead spend their lives supporting their husbands.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm a huge advocate of how partners should be each other's support, but giving up your own individual career aspirations? Perhaps back in the day where it was uncommon for women to have careers and where the accepted role of women was in the home, it might have been okay. But we live in a different world today and we just can't do that anymore.

I believe at one point, it was about choice. Women had the opportunity to pursue careers and individual financial stability and success. I believe that now, expectation has overtaken choice. I don't think that loyalty is valued as much today as it was in the past. Society today has become so indivdualistic that it's all about self-gratification and fulfilling one's individual needs. I dislike the individualistic nature of some societies and really prefer the collectivist mentality at times. Everything today is about getting something better, faster and at an instant. Our patience and tolerance levels have dropped and this has spilled over into our expectations of partners.

I would love to one day marry, have a family, live a happy life. If I would be so fortunate to one day have a husband, then my biggest fear would be if one day, I didn't have a husband anymore. Whether the loss would be attributed to divorce or death, this would be a situation I would call "When The Shit Hits The Fan."

If I'd given up my career to support a man and one day The Shit Hits The Fan, what would happen to me then? The financial implications of having The Shit Hit The Fan is a nightmare to me. If I got divorced, will I get anything out of the relationship? People spend years in relationships and get nothing when it all ends. How horrible! If I became a widow and I wasn't working because I was supporting my husbang, who would take care of the bills? Who will keep the children clothed and fed and kept in school? How will I pay for all of that if I wasn't working? I cannot assume that my dear husband would have prepared for the worst...

I work so that I will have money to live a comfortable life. So that I may support myself and one day be able to support my family if I were to have one and if I needed to. I also work because I would probably get very bored spending my days watching tv endlessly. I also work so that if The Shit ever Hits The Fan, it wouldn't be such an unmanageable mess. Of course, I would support my husband and love him dearly, but I would never be so foolish as to put myself in a position where if The Shit Hits The Fan, I would struggle to pick up the pieces. Stuff that.

Reflection

I've been following the news about the bushfires in Victoria. I try not to watch or read too much of it because it makes me too upset and looking at the pictures just makes me feel worse. Loss of lives and devastation is always something that really affects me. It's one of the reasons I don't like to watch the news because there is always so much misfortune out there in the world, that it just makes me so depressed and upset. It makes me most upset to hear stories of people who have lost loved ones. You can always rebuild a home, or replace things that you've lost, but you can never replace a person, a loved one who means that much to you...

If anything, knowing about such events happening to other people in other parts of the world makes one reflect on everything they have. I always feel grateful for where I am and what I have. I try not to complain, but am prone to the occasional whinge every now and then. I think that's just a flaw that makes me human.

It's heartening to see that Australians have donated so generously to the cause in just a few days. $31 million is a huge sum of money that will be very useful to all the people who have lost everything. I feel that rather than spending their money on gifts and treats this Saturday, people should donate to the Bushfire Appeal. A hundred dollars is better spent helping someone rebuild their home, rather than on a bunch of roses for someone who probably already has everything they need. Although, I still believe that many are going to go out and "celebrate" so I hope that at least the organisations that profit from this could pledge some of their takings towards this appeal.