Busy Bee

I was going to say that I've become a bit of a hermit lately, but I haven't. I've been preoccupied with writing my thesis since I have 4 months left before I'm due to finish (omg!). Being so close to the end, I've had to streamline tasks and really decide what my priorities are. I'd identified thesis, health, and friends as priorities in that order.

I seem to be on track with completing the thesis. I've written the first 3 chapters and have most of the fourth and fifth chapters down as well. I've just had to be a bit of a writing machine. Last week's task was writing Chapter 3 (methodology for my qualitative study) and this week's task is editing Chapter 1 (introduction) and Chapter 2 (literature review) based on supervisor's written feedback. I've let go of a lot of teaching, which is tight financially, especially when I don't get paid half my scholarship because people are too incompetent! But this has freed up so much time and energy, not having to teach and deal with students. I'm down for some lectures, but it is so much less effort and energy, which is wonderful.

I started personal training at the gym and am really trying to get fitness and diet up there. I always tend to believe that we need to take care of ourselves, otherwise we're just useless human beings. Well, what I really mean is that we can't expect to be the best we can be if we're not looking after our well-being.

I've also been busy trying to spend time with friends and doing all sorts of different things on weekends. Having no family and no partner to support me at the end of this thesis process, I've come to really rely on friends for that support and people have been awesome. But apart from support, the idea that my days in Brisbane may be numbered has propelled me into making a greater effort in spending time with people and doing interesting things with them. I think it's good to have a break sometimes to recharge and reconnect with others. It just makes you more productive.


So speaking of breaks, I'm heading to Coolum this weekend. So now I HAVE to finish my chapters by Friday!

So Pure

I've been going to a gym called Pure for a few years now. I hope they don't mind that I've pinched their banner, but I just wanted to express my satisfaction with this gym as I've never done that here before. Their USP is based on interesting and innovative classes and they've positioned themselves as a health club that's all about vibrancy and fun. The feeling that I get when I go to this gym is like it's run by a family. Everyone is so friendly and warm and genuine that they make you feel completely comfortable. I think nothing of expressing my woes with the receptionist, the trainer, the owner, and everyone is just as excited and happy for you when you reach your fitness goals.

I met with my trainer yesterday for my health and fitness assessment and while I hadn't lost any weight, I had apparently reduced my body fat by 1 per cent and lost an overall 9.5 centimetres off my body, half of which was from my waist. I didn't have a typical excited reaction, in fact I was pretty reserved about the results. My trainer Liz kept saying "that's good!" and "that's great!" and I'd be like, "really? Isn't that all relative?" I didn't mean to be such a killjoy but I'm just not used to positive results at the gym. Liz made me tell one of the other ladies who works there about my results and she seemed happy for me too. When she asked me how I felt, I said, "Good?"

So they put it into perspective for me that yes, it is good and I should be happy. Okay. I am pleased. I was planning on rewarding myself by getting some clothes at Kookai which is having a sale today, but it's pouring like cats and dogs so I think I'll just stay inside today. I'll go shopping on the weekend instead. With my imaginary money of course.

Soft

I was at the gym yesterday at lunchtime doing Ride. I really went for it again; I cranked the resistance right up during the climbs, and I pumped my legs as fast as I could during the sprints. Next to me, was a young guy, probably in his early twenties who was reasonably healthy-looking. He was using the bike I normally use ('cos so many of the bikes have problems).

He wasn't sprinting very fast (or at all) while we did sprints. His resistance was so low, he had to turn the knob up several times everytime we did a climb, and then he would turn it right back down when we sat back in our seats (I didn't touch my resistance at all - it was high enough and I didn't turn it back down when we sat back). He would pause and stop to take a break a few times. He was just... weak. I wanted to turn to him and go "SOFT!"

I thought men were supposed to be strong and tough. Not eating my dust in a spin class.

Monday

I had a great day yesterday where it was one of those days that things just seemed to work out right. I had finished analysing my exploratory data some time ago and having some preliminary results have kept me in better spirits for the last few weeks. I was ready to progress to the next stage of data collection, which is individual interviews and have been trying to get participants, which is always quite a challenge. I managed to organise my first interview for yesterday morning at Toowong Village and it went really well.

I caught the City Cat back to the office and just as I reached my desk, my phone rang and it was a lady asking if I wanted to interview her. The Wellness program put in a bit about my research, requesting for participants and she'd seen it there. We organised to meet later that afternoon - two in one day! Just as I put down the phone, I received an email from another lady saying she'd be happy to participate. Another interview scheduled for Wednesday. How cool is that? The luck will probably dry up and I will have to painfully search for more participants after this, but am quite happy with having 3 so far. I'm meant to have 2 more, but I'm just waiting to hear back from them about their availability.




I hit the gym yesterday to do Morphosis and Ride, a combo I hadn't done in a while given I was fasting and then I was away. I felt like I needed to do some cardio as I've decided that I'm too fat (or at least big, you can't argue with big). Am annoyed that the longer I stay with the gym and the harder I work out, the heavier I get. It's just so unfair. I find my only comfort in the fact that I've significantly reduced my body fat percentage since I started at the gym a year and a half ago. During Morph, I really went for it. I was jumping like I'd never jumped before, swinging my arms like I had all the energy in the world. I was so pumped up, it was weird. I'm usually more lifeless than that. I was surprised at how much energy I seemed to have, or at least how hard I was working.

I also finished my marking for Consumer Behaviour yesterday, which felt like a great effort but I took less than 2 weeks to mark it all so that was quite surprising. I am back to marking again for Services Marketing but only have 45 to mark, which isn't so bad if I do 10 or so a day. Unfortunately, I am feeling incredibly uninspired and distracted so my marking progress is not really there yet. I'd rather be transcribing than marking. Ho hum...

Perhaps it is time for an update...

It has been, and continues to be, a very busy week this week. On Sunday, Bernard, Lindsay, Joel, Damien and I went to Little Hong Kong in Sunnybank for lunch. I thought we could check it out since I hadn't been since it opened. Bernard and Lindsay have been there before, which was good to get some recommendations from them. It was alright, there were a lot of pork dishes and I usually am not fussed but in some Chinese eating places, the smell of the pork is just too overwhelming for me. It makes me feel sick.

I've started teaching again for Semester 2 and find myself with seven classes this semester (compared to the three last semester). Eeks... I initially wanted to do 6 but one of the tutors wanted me to take one of his classes. I said yes because I had a gap between 2 of my classes and figured it was a better use of my time this way. I quite like my Services Marketing students, many of them I've taught before in Consumer Behaviour. I'm still doing CB and funnily, I'm in the same classroom for 3 tutes straight. That's never happened before! They usually make you run around, so this is a welcome change. I teach again today and tomorrow. Where did the week go???

I finally feel like I'm making some progress with my PhD research as my Ethics application was approved yesterday - after THREE submissions! It was scary sending out the email to half the people I know, begging for participants for my study. Incidentally, if anyone is reading this, I am looking for volunteers to participate in a focus group discussion. Volunteers must meet the following eligibility criteria:

• Female
• Aged 50-69 years old
• Must have used BreastScreen Queensland (BSQ) breast cancer screening service (i.e. mammogram) at least once before

Volunteers do not have to be current customers of BSQ, nor do they have to be regular users of mammograms - as long as they have had a mammogram at BSQ at least once. The details of the focus group is as follows:

• Date: Tuesday 26th August or Thursday 29th August (depending on which date suits the greatest number of respondents)
• Location: QUT Gardens Point Campus, Faculty of Business Z Block
• Time: 6pm to accommodate volunteers who may work office hours
• Parking: can be arranged for those who drive

If you know someone who is interested in participating but is unable to make the suggested dates for the focus group, they can still participate in an individual-depth interview. Interviews can be conducted at a location of greatest convenience to the volunteer, and at a time that best suits them.

Ok, so that's the end of my plug. In the meantime, my supervisors want me to provide a descriptive chronology of the value literature in 2 weeks. Erm... okay... I really hate doing trawling through the literature. I just don't have the patience or the attention span. It just makes me wonder constantly if I'm really cut out to do research :(

I probably won't be able to get much done this week. I feel like I just have too many things to do. I've started going to the gym during lunchtime on Fridays, and today will be the first time I am going on a Wednesday at lunchtime. I've been to see Liz (a trainer at the gym), who recommended I follow a certain program and hopefully I will start to see some changes.

Dad will be in Brisbane tomorrow morning, but I'm teaching all day so will only see him for dinner at Pane E Vino. Yum! I quite like that place, but there's one waiter who works there that I just can't stand. He's the guy with the ponytail, gruff attitude and perpetual frown. He's rude on the phone, he gets orders wrong, and one time I called to confirm my booking and he cancelled it!!! Thankfully, the owner was there when our party arrived and managed to get us a table.

Friday, its gym at lunchtime and then after-work drinkies (and hopefully dinner). Saturday, it's off to the Powerhouse Markets in the morning to get eggs, vegetables and maybe some meat. The markets are great. So fresh, so much fun and so much better than supermarket stuff! Then, it's the getting ready bit for the National Day Ball! I'm really looking forward to that. The theme for this year is Bollywood and Lindsay and I have got saris and bindis and bangles. It will be fun! I'm still trying to decide how to wear my hair, but as long I look okay, I don't think anyone will really care.

Fat or Fit?

I am so tired, I feel like I could just collapse at my desk... and it's only 9.25am. I've been in the office for almost 2 hours now and feel ready to throw in the towel. Sadly, I can't because I still have some writing that I need to finish. Argh.

I suspect that one of the reasons I feel so wrecked is because I've tried to push myself at the gym this week. Potentially publicly shaming or embarrassing myself, I'm going to say that a year ago, over a third of my body weight was fat. That's more than 33% body fat. Today, that proportion is down to 25%. I think it's a pretty good effort to reduce my body fat from one-third to one-quarter. However, the irony is that I weighed 5 kilos lighter a year ago.

That does my head in. Does that mean I am heavier but fitter? It sounds like a contradiction.

I like this Coke Zero ad where the eyeball asks the tongues why they are drinking Coke Zero and they tell him it's Coke. When the eyeball disagrees, they call him a big fat liar. So the eyeball exclaims with a gasp, "I am not fat!"

I love it!

I stumbled across this website where the writer talks about her struggles with her weight since she was a teenager. Her story was about how her mother had taken a picture of her and when she saw the picture, she was so upset and distraught about how "fat" she looked. This started her on the weight-loss journey that saw her go through ups and downs. At one point, she weighed in at 310pounds (55kilos is about 120 pounds - about). One day, she looked at the picture again and couldn't see why she thought she was fat. She posted the picture up on the website and I can't see it either. It was just so sad.

It got me thinking that the only thing we waste from our deluded sense of self-image is time. We waste so much time worrying and fretting and dieting and agonising. Time that could have been spent enjoying life, not feeling so upset all the time. I don't want to be like that, but it's just hard sometimes.